How to Master the Most Useful, Difficult Skill in Business
I’m entering a pretty interesting transition in my life.
My two beautiful girls are growing so fast, keeping up with them is a challenge.
My wife starts her real estate career as a broker any day now.
Just these two things alone have required me to re-learn and really focus on saying…
LESS.
And, listening…
MORE.
You see, unless you listen, you really can’t advise others. You can’t because you have no clue what’s really going on or what their hot button(s) really is…WHY they’re even talking to you in the first place. You know, listening, to the full sentence, the full thought, the full conversation – it requires a strict discipline most never fully develop. They’re far too interested in hearing what they have to say about something, someone, or some situation.
When you’re lips are moving, you’re not listening. You’re missing more than you know. And, worse, you’ll never know what you missed.
One thing I hear patients remark when they leave a dental practice or any other business, really happy with their visit, they say, “I really felt like Dr. So and So and his staff really listened to my concerns. They really cared about what I had to say.”
That’s an insight right there you can’t afford to ignore.
Why? Simple: No one cares how much you know until…they know how much you care. And, you exhibit THAT by listening carefully and being an ACTIVE listener, which means you are nodding, repeating back important points, agreeing with the person and asking them questions.
Prime Example: I have a pretty cool library here in my office at home. It’s taken me years of buying the best books on business, success, history (if you’re not a fan of history, you’re doomed to repeat it) and other subjects to build it. It’s a prized possession in my world – like some would admire art, I admire a well-read library (not one for show – who cares!). At my other office in town, I have a similar, yet smaller library. Many of my books are not even on the shelves at either place.
Anyway, here’s the deal: Tonight, as I am sitting down to knock out an hour or so of work (I do my best oftentimes from 9:00PM until 11:00PM because I am uninterrupted for the most part), Tracy, my wife, enters my office. She looks at the bookshelves and asks, “What books should I be reading?” To which I replied, far too quickly, “All of them, honey.”
If you’re married, you’ll get this. First off, I answered too soon. Second, I didn’t really hear the question or read into it what I should have.
I should have said, “Well, sweetheart, what type of book are you hoping to find?” You know, answer a question with a question not to avoid the question but to be able to provide a better, more comprehensive answer. [I called her by name, asked her a question, etc.]
Eventually, I did get it right. I did figure out what she was looking for. So, she settled on two For now. I did tell her that the best real estate brokers out there will have read them all and the faster she digested them, the better. And, I reminded her I needed to go through many of them again. Why? My businesses have changed and what I’ll get outta the books will, too, compared to the first 2 or 3 times I went through them.
Case in point: I have 3 very old Dental Practice Management Books on my shelf. There are very few things in all three books that are not absolutely relevant to today’s dental practices. The only thing that’s changed is the style in which they are written and the technology. The information and advice they provide on dealing with patients, fees, office decor, etc., is absolutely still, right on the money. But, what I got out of them two years ago won’t be the same as what I get out of them now, even though the books haven’t changed, but my experience and mindsets and what’s important to me as a businessman and consumer certainly have.
If you want to see a boost in your income then start listening to what people, your clients, want. What they have to say. Their hidden messages. Their desires. Then, once they’re done talking, agree with them, ask them questions, and always, always use their name. It’s the sweetest word and set of sounds, in their mind, in the entire realm of the spoken word.
Next, close ‘em by saying, “That sounds like what you’re looking for is exactly what I provide my very best clients/patients/customers. If we could fit this in today, would you like to get started now?”
Listen, Business Anarchists get this. It’s why they (we & you) are consistently at the top of our games, whatever game it might be. If YOU get this, and you’re not at the top of your game now, you soon will be. Keep at it. Keep plugging away and keep sharpening your chops, keep honing your listening skill.
Some say, it’s why we’re born with one mouth and two ears. USE both ears all the time and use your mouth wisely and sparingly.